Unoffical Rory

I am happy to report on a new phenomena that is occurring all over the world. Teenage children are now getting along with their parents. Yep, you heard it here first. Way back in the distant past like a couple of years ago, teenagers were the most difficult people parents had to deal with.

Now where once shouting and anger finished with a grounding, there is a new peace. A real silence. Like being in a wood after a fresh snow has just stopped.

What has happened you ask? Thanks to the wonders of modern technology specifically TEXTING there is now peace. No longer to you hear teenagers you just see them texting. It's better than a time out in the corner or grounding because you don't have to make them and it lasts all day long.

Labels: Parents and Teenagers Find Peace At Last

For most of America a fresh clear spring day be a beautiful day. Flower blooming, birds singing and fresh air flowing in the windows.

Now that may a good day but here in the south they have to make it a GREAT Day! They rush out & start burning leaves and trash smoking up most of county. With smoke waffing through out the neighborhood and pillowing lowly through the trees to other neighborhoods, now that's make it a GREAT Day!

Labels: Spring in the South

Trish Regan and Bob Pisani of CNBC are blabbering again. How could the ADP number be so high they ask? It must be wrong....

I bet the that over the next 3 months, the government will revise the number and it will come much closer to matching the ADP number.

How do these people get their jobs and be so stupid or is this really the point. "The job of the market is to seperate fools from their money."

Labels: Bob Pisani, CNBC, Trish Regan

Larry Kudlow (snake oil tax breaks) has dropped the Drill Drill Drill and now has his latest smoke and mirror tripe.

Mustard Seeds he screams. I believe that he intends to use this to give President Nero-Bush credit for any economic recovery that may occur over the next four years.

According to the Republicans:

1. Bush fixed the Clinton recession
2. Democratic congress caused the latest trouble and
Larry the snake oil tax cuts salesman may in the future try to say
3. This is Bush's recovery because Bush planted the "MUSTARD SEEDS" of sucess.

Labels: CNBC, Kudlow tax cut snake oil

testing

SciFi channel broadcasts a show series called “Ghost Hunters”.  

Now, I love the SciFi channel but there is no way the “Ghost Hunters” is anything but snipe hunting. If you don’t what snipe hunting is then you were never a boy scout.

Ghost Hunters: A group of guys filming themselves while they go snipe hunting.

New Georgia Holiday - Mail Box Memorial Day

     This would be a holiday that could be celebrated by everyone in Georgia without regard to race, education, religion, rich, poor, employer and employee.  Everyone has experienced the loss at sometime of a brave soldier like mail boxes.

     After faithfully defending and caring for mail countless thousands lose their, ah….what ever it is mail boxes lose, when run down, run over, violently assaulted and only God knows by whom or why.

     A Mail Box Memorial Day would a great non-offensive holiday and a great way to remember the sacrifice and untold carnage happening up and down every street everyday in Georgia.

Automated Company Greetings / Voice Mail

You call Sears. You get the machine and it talks and talks and scolds you when you try to answer. I have figured out why a company would want such a system.

By the time you get a REAL person the relief is over whelming !!!!
It's exactly like finding an oasis in the desert.

But then you listen to their 'canned' responses....
and suddenly you realize that the oasis was just another mirage.

After writing all that condescending script the director was promoted to CEO and given his choice of 5 free neck ties. (believe me it was more than he deserved)

Just because it sounds like they're talking doesn't mean you're in a conservation.

Ostrich Drivers

Ostrich drivers are a national phenomena and not just a southern one. You know exactly who they are.... these are the folks (especially mothers with children in vans) who pull out and pretend they didn't see you.

Brain Sucking Devices:

We know that cell phones are really brain sucking devices used for driving really badly.
Georgia has been considering new laws that would allow only the use of 'hands free' brain sucking cell phones. This proves that legislatures have no need for cell phones because they have no brains.

This law if enacted, can drivers can get back to eating, smoking and driving while having their brains sucked out by their 'hands free" brain sucking cell phones.

I and many others bear witness to such an events. Today a lady taking on the phone was also eating, smoking and driving (though not very well).

Keeping It Simple

Disclaimers - We see these all the time for every product we use. These disclaimer statements attempt to describe everything we should not do. They can go on for pages and pages. Well here is a short 3 sentance version . . .

1. Those with common sense will know what not to do.

2. All others, Don't Touch!.

3. Injury caused by our product proves you have no common sense but you touched it anyway.

There are no traffic jams in the Southeast:

Yep that's right.... there are no traffic jams.... because when a southerner is in his pickup/car he's on a journey where;

every turn is a new adventure,
every stop a vacation...
every start is to be savored and enjoyed for as long as possible . . .


There is no width, 1 lane, 8 lane, length, number of lights, lack of stop signs, plans, planning, turnabouts, turnarounds, turn off lanes, special use lanes or money in the world that will turn a journey into a simple drive.

National Society of Scrabble Rejects aka N.S.S.R.

For the longest time, I thought I was getting spammed…. But after careful consideration, I’ve concluded, as I’m sure you have that spammers are just lonely scrabble rejects trying to communicate….. and we should help them…..

For example look at the following subject lines;

“sale, name-brand sotfware” now even I can guess that he really meant was awfulware but he spells like he sounds it. … so he needs practice..

“Hi trhee!” See here’s another one…. Of course trees are hi… Dah

“OEM sfotware ofrfes are really great” – Some just never did try very hard in school…..

“Nice Psrotitute waiting for you.” Hey dummy, it’s prosciutto and your mother is waiting for you to get off the neighbors computer and get home for super…..

“Microfost sotck oem sfot sohp” Microfrost Ummmm maybe this is one of those ‘new original’ ice cream shops….

“Me.diccations/1RTJ-IUU99” At last I’m stumped ! Maybe it’s a secret message from his Trix decoder ring…. ????

Georgia Speed Control

To make a Georgia driver go slower…. Follow ‘em…

How to make a Georgia driver accelerate? … Try passing ‘em….

To make a driver in Georgia go as fast as you…. Pass ‘em….

It's A Conspiracy

After countless observations, it obvious that those aren't really cell phones being used by many drivers but brain sucking devices. The conspiracy here is that their brain power is being collected by large towers and sent to a central unknown location, maybe even somewhere like Area 51. But for sure, there isn’t enough brain power for normal driving. Oh, wait a minute I think that was a batman movie.

Have you ever passed them when they are talking on the phone ?
You get that look…. You know, that same look you got from your parents when you made too much noise when they were talking on the phone.

“How dare you pass me when I’m talking on the phone!” look.

Sorry to disturb your 50 mph conversation NOT!

Red Neck Landscape Lighting.....

Landscape lighting in the south is just a big ugly telephone pole stuck in your front yard with a street light stuck on top.

The worst part, IT's RENTED !!! For only a couple hundred dollars a year, you too can have a big ugly telephone pole your yard with a street light bolted on it and never own it.

The best part, is they never have to reposses it... you don't pay, they just turn off all your power.

We do get solicition calls from a pre-recorded voice: "Please hold for an important announcement!"

I always answer with "Please hold for an even more important hang-up"

What's new in Japan !!

Have made it completely through the Unreal Tournament 2003.

Just when you think you've seen it all.... the doughboy